So the title pretty much sums it up. While my 1 year cancer free date has come and gone I haven't really gotten confirmation of it yet. The medicine I need, Thyrogen, to cause me to be hypothyroid without all the yucky symptoms to do my cancer check bloodwork is once again on back order and has been for months. Thankfully my doctor did not take the drug company's advice to just have her patients go off their medicine for 4 weeks as opposed to waiting for the medicine. She refuses to make her patients go through that...she realizes that it isn't pleasant and it isn't necessary to go through withdrawal. Much better than my previous doctor. The nurse called me today so hopefully it will come available in mid June and she thinks I'll be one of the first to get it since I've been waiting a little while. Of course if it is available then I will be on a mission trip at that time so it is even more waiting. If there is one thing I do NOT do well it is waiting. While I have no anxiety about the cancer having returned I just want this one final step to be behind me so I can go into a "normal" bloodwork pattern of every 6 months and nothing more.
The much happening right now includes a mission trip to Guatemala that I'm blessed to be able to participate in this year. I am so excited for this. Last year with medical bills and my medicine still not being correct I just wasn't physically able to go but this year is a different story. My medicine is at the correct level and praise God all our medical bills are paid off along with our credit cards. We will be building 2 houses, doing a women's bible study and 3 VBS sessions. In addition to this we get a free day where we will be hiking up a volcano! How awesome is that! Although Eric is freaked out that his mommy is hiking up a volcano because there is hot lava in it. Poor kid may be traumatized for life! At least I know he loves me! :)
While there is this awesome thing to look foward to I do have a set back that has been occuring for a year now and has just progressively gotten worse. I now have no day or hour where I do not have pain in my hips (not good for hiking up a volcano!). It is so odd and discouraging at times. One of my favorite past times is running and it is becoming more and more difficult to do it. It didn't use to hurt when I ran but the past 2 runs have been hard with hip pain. What is even more discouraging about it is that I handle pain well (I have a high tolerance for it) so for it affect my daily life like this is bothersome to me. I hate that it affects my mood and ability to really play with my kids like I would like to. It is bad when I sit or stand to long and forget laying on my side which makes sleeping almost impossible. I've been treated for a muscle tear and bursitis and told to rest it. Those treatments have not worked. The last rest period is when it became evident that something more is going on because the pain never once let up. I have been tested for rheumatoid arthristis which was negative thankfully. I had an xray last year that ruled out a stress fracture. I am going to try a foam roller to see if that type of deep massage will help aid in healing as it could be IT band pain but the way it started off and on in my right hip last year to being in both hips all the time leads me to believe it is not that. Someone suggested osteoarthritis to me which is something I will be bringing up to my doctor. I thought I was to young for that at 31 but I guess you never know. If my cancer journey taught me anything it is the fact that I don't usually fall into those usual statistical groups.
This past year has been quite a journey with many ups and downs. I am thankful for all this year has taught me! While I would rather not have had cancer and I would rather not be in pain constantly it has and still is teaching me to rely on others and mainly to rely on God for help. As always songs are the best way for me to connect with God and feel His presence and the best way for me to be encouraged. As I write this post the song "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller is playing on my iPod. I am still amazed at how the perfect song always comes on at the exact moment that I need it. I will move ahead bold and confident and I will take every step in obedience to Him while I am waiting for His perfect timing. I will serve Him while I'm waiting and I will worship Him while I'm waiting.
