Wow....still in shock

Let me first start by explaining why I have chosen to blog about my journey. I have found in the past that writing or blogging is pretty therapeutic for me. I do not claim to be a good writer though so I apologize in advance for that. :) Second I want a place that I can keep my family and friends informed of what is going on.

In case you don't know my name is Stacy and I'm 30 years old. Gosh that age is weird to type. Haha! I am a wife to Brian, my wonderful husband, and a mommy to two very active and loving little boys. Eric is 4 years old and Tyler is 2 years old. I love them to pieces even if they drive me crazy at the same time. :) Besides being these things I am a sister, daughter, friend, and most importantly a child of God. Now if that isn't enough things to identify myself with I now have one more...thyroid cancer patient. If typing my age as 30 is weird typing cancer patient is even more so.

So to answer one question...why did you name your blog You're Not Shaken. Well...there is a song sung by Phil Stacey called You're Not Shaken that really speaks to me. When times are easy it is easy for us to know that God is with us but when things are not as you wish them to be that is when we need to realize that God is with us as well and He is not shaken by our circumstances. He is our rock and will not let go of us no matter what our situation.

Now to fill you in on the background surrounding my thyroid cancer diagnosis. About 3 years ago in 2007 I was pregnant with Tyler and happen to put on a necklace and feel a very small lump on my neck. So small I didn't think to much of it. At my next doctor's appointment though I decided to mention it to my primary care physician. He was surprised I even found it because it was so small. He did send me for an ultrasound though and the results came back as an adenoma. Not a big deal but he referred me to an endocrinologist so my thyroid could be monitored. My endocrinologist performed another ultrasound. He confirmed that it was an adenoma or thyroid nodule but since it didn't seem to be growing we would just monitor it and have bloodwork done every 6 months.

Fast forward 3 years and all is still well. I had noticed some fluctuations in the size of the lump but it always went back to normal so I attributed it to my hormones being a little out of wack after my pregnancy. On February 17 of this year I noticed a little stiffness in my neck and assumed I had pulled a muscle when working out the night before or that morning. I took some mortrin and went to bed. The next day I woke up in a ton of pain. I can handle pain pretty well so when I touched my neck and almost came out of my skin I knew something was not right. I could barely move my head or pick up my kids it hurt so bad. I noticed the pain was radiating up into my ears as well. When I touched my neck I also realized the lump on it was huge in comparison to what it usually is. I immediately called my endocrinologist but the first appointment they had available was March 1st. Not knowing what to do I went to the urgent care here in town. The attending P.A. was very concerned. She wanted me to have an ultrasound right away and decided to call my endocrinologist and see if she could get me in that day. I am so thankful she took the time to really listen to me and cared enough to do this. She called and my endo told me to come in right away.

After juggling my kids around since my hubby was out of town I made it down to the doctor's office. By the way...thanks for those wonderful people that watched my kids that day! It was great not having to worry if they were okay or not. Anyways...once I got to the endo's office they performed an ultrasound on my thyroid. After reviewing the ultrasound my endo wanted to do bloodwork and a biopsy. I've had a ton of bloodwork over the course of my life so that was not a big deal. The biopsy on the other hand had me a little freaked out. I found out after the fact that if you have it done at a hospital they numb you but they don't do that at the doctor's office and I had mine done in the office. I'll save you the gory details but it basically consists of a very thin needle being inserted in the thyroid to remove cells. It wasn't really painful but it was highly uncomfortable for sure. After that was all done it was then just a wait and see what the results would come back as.

My doctor explained to me that it could just be an infection from bronchitis I had earlier, a cyst that had started bleeding, Hashimoto's thyroiditis, or a tumor. He said even if it was a tumor that 95% of the time they are benign...only 5% of them are cancerous. After the biopsy I was pretty sore for a few days but by the end of my wait period I was feeling really good and didn't expect to hear anything serious.

When I went to see the doctor on March 1st and he told Brian & I that I had cancer I was just in shock. I still am really. It is only 2 days since I was diagnosed and everything is very surreal at this point. Right now we are waiting to get a CT scan done of my neck and chest to see if the cancer may have spread to my lymph nodes. Friday I meet with a surgeon to schedule a complete thyroidectomy. On a side note everyone I talk to about this surgeon just loves him. Besides being a very good surgeon he is also a very strong Christian which is an added bonus in my opinion. Basically he will remove my entire thyroid. The biopsy definitely showed cancer of the thyroid but it wasn't able to tell us what kind so once the thyroid is out it can then be tested to tell us what kind we are dealing with. Following the surgery I will at some point undergo radioactive iodine treatment. This involves taking a pill that will kill the rest of the thyroid tissue that may be left over after the surgery. This treatment will cause me to have to be away from my kids for a short time period. Not sure how long yet but we'll find out more when we meet with my endo again. I will then be placed on thyroid medication to take the rest of my life.

Whew...that is quite a lot to explain. Just to let you know the prognosis for thyroid cancer patients is very good...especially for someone of my age apparently. The doctor and everyone else I know has been telling me if I had to get cancer then this would be the one to get. While I appreciate that it is still freaky to hear your name and cancer in the same sentence. My preference is not to have to deal with this at all. However, it's not all about me and sometimes we have to deal with things like this in order to mold us and make us stronger.

So onto the next popular question...how am I feeling and how is Brian doing with it all. Well, I'm feeling pretty well. I am very tired and wear out really easy. This is due to my thyroid levels being low...hypothyroidism...caused by the cancer. Once it is removed and I'm on medication this should get better. I still have pain in my ears sometimes but not bad. My neck is stiff sometimes but not bad at all. The fact that this flared up the way it did is such a blessing because I never would have thought to have it checked. Emotionally I'm doing okay. I'm in shock still and it is strange to tell people that I have cancer. Just typing it is weird. Brian is doing okay. He too is in the surreal mode. He is also worried about me and for me to have to undergo all these things. He is also a little angry at the situation which I can totally understand. All I have to say is I have the best husband in the world and couldn't ask for a better guy to walk this journey with.

Obviously one of my main prayers is for complete healing along with prayers for my kids, husband and family to have peace and to feel God's grace surround them. Another prayer I have is for this to be used to help others; whether it be someone that is going through this as well or if it helps bring glory to God in some other way that is fine with me.

Thank you all so much for all your love and support. The outpouring of encouragement and support has been overwhelming in a good way. All your prayers are so appreciated! I can feel God's love and comfort surrounding me all the time now. :)